The Stories We Tell Ourselves? On Vampires, #4AMmeangirls, and Vulnerability
If reading about teenage vampires, makes us believe that our teeth are longer, (a parasocial relationship), does that mean that the stories we tell ourselves about not being good enough, not worthy or stupid a.k.a. #4amMeanGirl, are parasitic relationships, sucking us dry?
Well, IMHO there is an argument to be made.
From Feeling Vulnerable to Moving Into Empowerment
Recently, I had the honor of coaching some amazingly dynamic, top-of-their class, well, for lack of a better word, overachievers. Each one of them with a resume to impress your socks off, with open minds, hearts, and willingness to learn, and a number of successful projects as young professionals under their belts.
So, what was the surprising common thread in the coaching sessions?
The spiral of negative self-talk and how to get out of it. Negative self-talk reflecting the apprehension of making that next choice, of going into the ambiguous unknown, not being able to meet expectations, and of getting caught out.
Despite incredible proven track records of having succeeded in the past.
This #4AMmeangirl — which is what I call my own personal negative self-talk spiral — who won’t be quiet, and where self-doubt because almost debilitating, because it is so hard to get “her to shut-up”.
The pop terminology of late is imposter syndrome, but in my opinion, that is like calling the phenomena, the 2020’s version of hysteria. It doesn’t really help.
So…what could?
Well, for inspiration and insight, I decided to get a little help from my friends.
Enter Co-Captain Vince Pitre, Therapist Extraordinaire
I invited my wonderful friend, Vince Pitre, to lead the #amaze2022 port-of-call “Vitality — Viability — Vulnerability” for our #transformationpassport, in order to take us on a guided journey of HOW to uncover what is behind the feelings of vulnerability to move into courage and embody empowerment.
In essence, what is the self-talk to rediscovering our agency, IOW being able to influence outcomes?
It starts with being brave to dive into our vulnerability, of our learning wobbles’ fear. Of looking in at what is at the core of our apprehension / fear / negative self-spirals and transposing these thoughts into…
What does the “good” look and feel like?
Then moving into: how can we take this self-insight, to no only stop the #4AMmeangirl spiral, but boost off of her as a kind of courage rocket as we step into the unknowns.
Like Garry Turner succinctly brought it together “either we embody the three vitality — viability — vulnerability; or we show up disembodied”.
So this is why the aspect of how do we not let our negative self-talk be the parasitic relationship to ourselves that sucks us dry, but rather identifying with the strengths of character to believe that we are wanted, we are good (enough), and that truly we do matter.
We are trying, we are learning, we are saying “screw it, just try”. By embracing the forward movement of that courage rocket, we blast ourselves into learning zones of our own making.
Thereby, actualizing the self-agency of our own empowerment.
And, we learn more and more via our rides on the #couragerocket to tell the #4AMmeangirl to put a sock in it.
A-Maze Vitality — Viability — Vulnerability Passport
So, with that being said, I would like to share two of the videos from the A-Maze 2022 #Transformationpassport. The first one is a summary, where I pull together why the topic is so critical as a principle behind any real transformation as a quick view.
For those of you who wish to do a deeper, almost master class on Vitality- Viability — Vulnerability, I have uploaded the full length video from Vince with the wonderful perspectives from the expert panel of Cordelia Gaffar, Michelle Minnikin, and Garry Turner as they add their spice from their learnings.
All of my best regards,
Your Chief Talent Navigator,
Liz
